Guess the radiation is going so well I will only have to have 25 treatments instead of 30. With that said I will be done with radiation on Monday. I am still very tired. At times it is depressing, but Dan is very patient and keeps me going. Hopefully, life will get back to some version of normal. The radiation doctor told me today that it will be at least a month before my energy starts to get any better. I am not sure what is the next step after radiation. I know that I will be on a hormone therapy because the cancer was her2 positive, but I don't quite know what that is going to entail.

Once we got going on the radiation it is not too bad, not great, not anything I would want to do for fun, but not as bad as chemotherapy. I have 4 treatments behind me and only 26 more to go (so after tomorrow I will have one week down and only five more weeks to go.)

The head is starting to have a little stubble. My hands are not as numb as they were from chemotherapy. The feet are still not great but a little better.

At times I get frustrated because my body is not healing as fast as I would like it to. I want to be able to have enough energy to do the things I did before the surgery (which by the way today is my six month anniversary). I thought I did not have enough energy to keep up with Dan before, now I feel like an old woman who need naps every day. I know I need to be patient. It has been a long time and it will still be longer yet. The radiation doctor told me yesterday that the patient puts so much physical and emotional energy into getting through chemotherapy and then when they get to radiation they are emotionally drained. I am feeling that. I am still moving forward and that is the important part.

Love,
Marilee

Well things have been kind of messed up as far as radiation starting goes. On Thursday the machine was not working right and they had to have the software reinstalled after I laid on the table for 45 minutes (it hurts to hold my arms over my head, especially the one that was damaged many years ago when I was having allergy shots.) On Friday they took most of the x-rays they had to take before starting radiation but decided not to start radiation today because they don't like to start radiation on a day when they don't see you the next day.
So bottom line is after thinking I was going to get started two days in a row I have still have not started. Anyway, the plan is to start on Monday.

Yes, I am upset. I really do not want to do this, but Dan is going to make me. I am sure it is for my own good, I am just tired of people poking, proding and drawing on me. I just want to go back to a normal (okay so my version of normal) life. On March 8th it will be six months since I had the original surgery.

Well I finished chemotherapy on February 2!
I start radiation on Thursday, March 1. I will be doing radiation for six weeks, five days a week. Then I will be done with the second step of cancer. The third and final step is the reconstruction.

I still have no hair and am not looking forward to looking like a chia pet, but that is one of the phases that has to be gone through to get hair back so I guess I will look forward to getting there so I can leave that phase behind.

Other cool info- I only have four more classes until I graduate and will be able to walk in May even though I will not get my diploma until September. That is a bright side for me is that I am really going to graduate from college. It does not seem real.

Big hugs to all of you,
Marilee
p.s. I will try to update you all more often.

Well I have now completed number five of the eight chemo treatments. The last treatment was the first of a drug called Taxol. It was very harsh. My hands, feet and joints were severly effected. The bright side is that the effects only last about a week.

On a happy note, we had a very lovely Christmas and a Happy New Years Eve with family.
We hope that yours was just as nice.

Love,
Dan and Marilee

Long time no writing.
I have now finished three of my 8 chemotherapy sessions. They are not great but I am doing okay. I am down for a day or two after the chemo and then I start to have more energy. I am still working four to five hours a day and going to school. This time I am taking a flex-net course, which means I go to two classes and the rest of the work is done on the computer from home. That means I will not be sitting in a class room four hours a week in the evening (which is when I get really tired).
Dan continues to be very patient, supportive and wonderful as ever. He can tell when I need to rest and is very kind in the way he suggests that I rest. He is a very wonderful blessing to me. I am very grateful for him.

Well, today is the day. I see the doctor at 10:30 and then they plug me into the chemo. They say it takes three hours for the chemo to go in. I plan to take homework and my embroidery with me. I am nervous, but I am trying to remember this is just the next step in the journey to hopefully being done with breast cancer. Dan is going with me as he has to all the other appointments and surgeries. With him by my side I can handle anything.
I will try to update the blog tomorrow with how the chemo went.

I got a clean bill of health for the pneumonia today. I also got the stitches out of my neck from the Power Port that was installed a almost two weeks ago. All I have left is the drain from the surgery on Tuesday. The bright side is that the drain is looking really good and will probably come out on Monday. That will be a good thing, then I will be able to shower again instead of sponge bath (not my favorite thing to do!)

If all goes well and I stay healthy, chemo will start next Friday. I am not looking forward to that, but it will be okay. I think having the port installed was one of my biggest fears and that is over.

Dan is very up beat about all of this and helps me to stay up beat when I start to get down. He shares with me the strength to be able to endure this challenge.

I don't really miss my breasts all that much. I have noticed without them my stomach looks bigger than it did before (maybe it was hiding under the breasts, or maybe I could not see it as well because I had breasts). It does not really matter because I will start to exercise as soon as the doctor give me permission, and hopefully I will be able to get those muscles back in shape or just lose some weight or all of the above. :o)

In the meantime, I am just happy to be alive and for the technology to eradicate this disease from my body.

If I have not mentioned it before, my goals in life are to grow old with my dear wonderful husband, graduate from college, continue to learn and grow closer to the Savior, and enjoy my family.

Again, I want to thank all of you for your prayers and the love that you have shown to Dan and I. I appreciate you all and love you dearly.

Love,
Marilee

I know it has been two weeks since I have updated the blog. There has been a lot going on and I have not been able.

Last week I had the port put into my chest to be used for IV's, chemo, treatments, etc. and then had a Mugga test (it is a test to see how strong your heart so the doctor can see if your heart is strong enough for chemo). So as you can guess we spent almost all day Monday at the hospital. Tuesday afternoon I started having pains in my right lung. I ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. (Tuesday-Thursday) They let me out on Thursday with IV antibotics and pain pills after my oxygen levels came back up to normal.

Kim was home Wednesday-Sunday from college for the end of term break, so she and Dan have been the ones administer the IV antibotics. It is much nicer to have someone else andminister them instead of having to do it yourself. Kim pushes the fluids slower than her dad (that is a very good thing. It does not feel very good when they are pushed too fast).

Because of the pneumonia I did not start chemo on Friday as planned. At this point we are not sure when chemo will start. I am hoping within the next two weeks.

This week is looking almost as busy. I saw the plastic surgeon yesterday. The expander for the reconstruction on the left side is infected. We have been working with it from the beginning. Now the skin is too thin in one large spot and the expander is showing through, so I am going in today to have him remove it.The left side had more expansive cancer and there was spot where they had to cut very close to the skin to get all the cancer and the skin was thin and raw. Because of the pneumonia I am going to have to stay overnight in the hospital, otherwise this would have been a quick same day procedure.

Got the last drain out on Monday. I got to shower for the first time in two and a half weeks. It was wonderful! Went to the oncologist yesterday. If it all goes well I start chemo on October 13th. Because of issues with the lymph nodes (or lack of lymph nodes in the arms) I have to have post embedded in my chest for the chemo and blood draws before the chemo starts. The chemo will last 16 weeks, once every 2 weeks. I will be loosing my hair shortly after chemo starts. After the chemo I will be having radiation therapy too. And then I will probably be on a hormone drug for five years to help make sure the cancer does not return.

This is a great challenge. I am so thankful for all the prayers that have been offered on my behalf, as well as a wonderful husband to support me. Otherwise, I could not face this challenge. I know that Heavenly Father does not give us challenges that we cannot handle. Sometimes I wish he did not trust me so much :o)

This week has been challenging. I saw Dr. Bindrup (the plastic surgeon) on Monday to be told that the drains were not ready to come out. I saw Dr. Bindrup on Tuesday because I was having extreme pain in the left side and arm. He put me back on anti-botics and ibuprofen. By Thursday I was feeling better. I saw Dr. Bindrup and Dr. Rasmussen (cancer surgeon) on Thursday. Dr. Rasmussen said I was looking good and Dr. Bindrup took out three of the drains (oh boy!). Although it was a little painful it is nice to be down to one. If all goes well, it will be taken out on Monday. After the three drains were taken out I was feeling much better. I probably had the best day since surgery.

This morning I am a little stiff. But it will get better. Dr. Bindrup told me I could start tapering off the pain meds and start more with the ibuprofen and tylenol. I am excited about beginning to start living a semi-normal life. I have a long way to go but we are on the way. He says after I am off the pain killers I can start to drive. Dan is concerned that my arms are still to sore to safely drive. I know he is right. The idea of driving and going places on my own are exciting and scary all at the same time. My chest and arms are still very sore.

I actually did a little cooking and rinsing dishes to put in the dishwasher this week when I felt well enough. It felt good to start doing normal things again.

That is all the exciting news for the week.
-Marilee

We went to the doctor today for a check up. He said everything is looking good. If all goes well he will take out the drains (I have 4) on Thursday when he sees me again. I am really looking forward to that. It will feel good not having tubes coming out of the sides of my body. And I will be able to take a shower!! :o)

Today was the first day I have been able to feed myself with my right hand. The first few days I was not able to feed myself at all. Then I was able to feed myself left handed because that arm had better movement. I see the plastic surgeon on Monday and the cancer surgeon next Thursday. I see the oncologist on the 27th. I will be having a course of both chemotherapy and radiation. I will not know anymore details until I see the oncologist.

So far I have had to stay at home except for going to the doctor's office on Tuesday to get the bandages changed. I am getting a little cabin fever, but I understand that I have to heal and not get around lots of people. My sisters, Kathy and Cheri have been hanging out with me when Dan has had to be other places. I have enjoyed their company very much. Kathy has brought a lot of DVDs to watch. Also, I have been sleeping a lot. That part is not fun because I have to sleep on my back and I would much rather sleep on my side.

The bright side is that I am making great strides forward. I will not be down with this cancer thing very long.

-Marilee

Marilee came home on Saturday. She is doing really well. She is still on pain pills but have cut back on them. She is walking around the house pretty well now. She is getting tired of having to sleep on her back, but she will get over it. She is very excited to be able to move her arms a bit. She is still having a bit of problem with her right arm but it is getting there.

Marilee goes to the doctor tomorrow to get her bandages changed. It will be an eventful day for her to see what she really looks like now.

Marilee appreciates all the love and support that everyone has shown to her.

Surgery went really well today. They did find cancer in Marilee's sentinal lymph nodes (the 1st set) so they had to remove them and the second set of lymph nodes. Marilee will need to undergo chemo therapy for 3-6 months. That will start in 3-4 weeks once she has healed a bit from the surgery. Then Marilee will under go radiation therapy for 6 weeks. This is to make sure that there are no microscopic cancer cells in her body. The doctors attending Marilee are great.

Marilee was up and walking around the hospital halls before I came home tonight. She is in good spirits and wants to come home. She will come home tomorrow around noon.

Thanks to all for you support and love. Keep it up. Marilee has a ways to go to beat this but she will. The doctors are very positive that she will.

Today is the day. Surgery is at 7 am MST. I have to be at Cottonwood hospital at 6 am. The surgery is suppose to take three hours. I will only be in the hospital overnight which will be nice because I always get more rest in my own bed. I will be very happy to get this behind me.

Dan will update the website later today when he gets home from the hospital.
Thank you all for your prayers. I feel very at peace and know that this surgery is going to make me feel better. I am sure the cancer has been draining on me and I did not even know it.

Love,
Marilee

Preview for surgery

Today Dan and I met with the plastic surgeon and got the last instructions for Friday. We call on Thursday afternoon for the time of surgery on Friday.

It is all going to be fine. I will be in the hospital overnight and will come home Saturday. I will just be a little slow in moving for a week or two. I have great hope. They said I will be up and walking around after surgery so I am excited to know that I will be able to get up and wander around.

That is all for now,
Love,
Marilee

Folks-

After being precancerous the last twenty years, I gotta share with you some basics on cancer. Aggressive breast cancer-if the dbl masectomy is recommended, look at having the female organs removed also. Breast cancer is insidious and spreads - therefore the brain scan. A familiar site for breast cancer to spread is to the uterus, cervix, ovaries. A co worker had bad news from her doctor, said to get more opinions. Hers had spread to the colon, stomach and intestines after the female organs. I took her to my oncologist three weeks ago. She is undergoing treatment at the Anderson Center in Houston. It is the best, absolutely the best cancer treatment center in the world. In my opinion. My oncologist said to get her there (in his opinion also the best place). The treatments are fast and the research there phenomenal. Check them out. Ask your doctor about if this is good for you.
http://www.mdanderson.org/

My co worker is doing very well and will be home soon. They think they caught it in time.

Love always,
Shirley

Re: good news and bad news

It did make me smile.
I am trying to keep a good sense of humor about all of this. Sometimes it is easier than other times. I have really thought about the sunken chest theory. No more underwire bras. Heck, no bras period. The idea is appealing yet I don't know that I would not be me without something there. Still pondering...

BTW, we have a tentative date for surgery. Looks like September 8th is the day. Bright side about that is that hopefully, we will still be able to go to Bradley's wedding in Elko on the 23rd. Both Dan and I are looking forward to being there.

Re: good news and bad news

A little humor? OK. Without reconstruction you would be a sailors dream.(Sunken chest). Don't be angry I warned you it was humor.

Something to make you smile, hopefully. Good luck with the surgery and keep your hands on the table.

-Dale